How to Recognize (and Heal) Power Imbalances in a Relationship

In a healthy relationship, both partners feel heard, valued, and emotionally safe. Decisions are shared, needs are respected, and both people contribute to the partnership in meaningful ways. But when one person consistently holds more control—whether emotionally, financially, or relationally—a power imbalance can quietly take root.

Many couples who walk into therapy at Cherry Creek Therapy in Denver don’t even realize they’re navigating a power dynamic. They just know something feels “off.” One partner may feel unseen or overburdened. The other might feel constantly criticized or emotionally responsible for everything. Often, these dynamics stem not from intentional harm, but from unspoken expectations, emotional wounds, or learned behaviors that haven’t been addressed.

Let’s explore what power imbalances actually look like, why they happen, and how couples therapy can help you rebuild a relationship based on mutual respect, shared influence, and emotional balance.

What Is a Power Imbalance?

A power imbalance in a relationship occurs when one person routinely holds more influence or control than the other. This can show up in obvious ways—like dominating conversations, making all the decisions, or controlling finances. But it also appears subtly, in the form of emotional prioritization, unspoken rules, or avoidance of certain topics to “keep the peace.”

The issue isn’t about one partner being more vocal or organized. It’s about whether both people feel free to express themselves, have their needs considered, and influence the relationship equally.

Signs You Might Be in a Power-Imbalanced Relationship

Power dynamics can be hard to spot from the inside. You may have adapted so well to an imbalanced structure that it feels normal—even if it leaves one or both partners feeling drained, resentful, or small.

Some common signs of a power imbalance include:

• One partner consistently makes decisions—about money, parenting, schedules, or emotional boundaries—without input.

• One person’s emotional needs are often prioritized, while the other is told they’re “too sensitive” or “overreacting.”

• Disagreements are avoided entirely because one partner fears conflict or backlash.

• Responsibilities in the relationship (like child care, housework, or emotional labor) are unfairly distributed, but never discussed.

• One person feels they have to earn love, approval, or permission—often walking on eggshells to avoid triggering the other.

While these dynamics may not involve yelling or manipulation, the result is the same: one partner begins to feel powerless, invisible, or resentful—and the emotional connection begins to erode.

The Emotional Cost of Unequal Power

Over time, power imbalances can wear down the very fabric of intimacy. The partner who holds less influence may begin to suppress their thoughts, feelings, or needs. They might feel anxious, withdrawn, or emotionally isolated. Meanwhile, the partner with more control may not even realize their behavior is causing distress—they may feel burdened, misunderstood, or unfairly blamed.

Without intervention, couples often fall into unhealthy roles: one becomes passive, the other dominant. Trust weakens. Communication suffers. Resentment quietly builds. Eventually, what was once a partnership starts to feel more like a power struggle.

Where Do Power Imbalances Come From?

There’s no single cause of a power imbalance. Often, it’s a combination of unspoken assumptions, past experiences, and unresolved emotional wounds.

For example, if one partner grew up in a household where emotions were dismissed or tightly controlled, they may unconsciously bring those expectations into the relationship—taking charge or suppressing feelings to feel safe. Another partner might avoid confrontation because of past trauma or fear of abandonment, giving up their voice just to maintain peace.

Cultural norms and gender roles also play a major role. Many couples internalize scripts about who “should” lead in a relationship, who manages money, who nurtures, and who provides. Over time, these roles—when left unexamined—create a lopsided emotional economy that no longer serves either person.

How Couples Therapy Can Restore Balance

At Cherry Creek Therapy, we help couples examine power dynamics through a compassionate, non-blaming lens. Using approaches like Relational Life Therapy (RLT) and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFCT), we guide partners in understanding how the imbalance formed, why it’s causing distress, and what needs to shift for both people to thrive.

The process of healing a power imbalance in therapy often includes:

• Identifying the patterns: Bringing awareness to how control, avoidance, or deference shows up in the relationship.

• Creating emotional safety: Ensuring both partners feel safe expressing concerns without fear of retaliation or invalidation.

• Rebalancing roles: Encouraging the less dominant partner to speak up and ask for what they need, while helping the more dominant partner practice humility, curiosity, and emotional flexibility.

• Rebuilding mutual respect: Establishing boundaries, shared responsibilities, and clearer communication so both voices matter.

• Repairing trust: Addressing past hurts with accountability, validation, and a renewed commitment to equity.

Therapy doesn't aim to "assign blame"—it aims to rebuild connection by restoring the sense of shared emotional responsibility.

What Shared Power Looks Like in a Relationship

A balanced relationship is not a 50/50 split at every moment—but it is a partnership where power and influence flow both ways. Each person feels valued. Emotional needs are not ranked or dismissed. Difficult conversations are approached collaboratively, not fearfully.

When couples commit to sharing power more intentionally, they begin to:

• Make decisions as a team—even when they disagree

• Support each other’s autonomy and individuality

• Speak up without fear of emotional punishment

• Take responsibility for their impact, not just their intentions

• Celebrate each other’s growth, instead of controlling it

This kind of relational balance fosters deeper intimacy, respect, and a stronger emotional foundation.