Coping Together: Supporting a Partner with Anxiety or Depression

When your partner is struggling with anxiety or depression, it doesn’t just affect their emotional world—it impacts your relationship, too. You might feel helpless watching them suffer, unsure of what to say or do, or afraid of making things worse. At the same time, you may find yourself carrying the emotional weight of the relationship, pushing aside your own needs to hold everything together.

These feelings are common, and they don’t make you a bad partner. They make you human.

At Cherry Creek Therapy, we work with couples throughout Denver who are navigating the emotional complexities of mental health challenges. The good news is that you can support your partner while maintaining your own well-being—and couples therapy can help guide that journey.

Let’s take a closer look at what supporting a partner with anxiety or depression really means, and how you can walk through this together with compassion, clarity, and connection.

What Anxiety and Depression Can Look Like in a Relationship

Mental health struggles often change how a partner shows up in the relationship. They may seem emotionally distant, irritable, checked out, or overwhelmed. Things that once felt easy—like planning date nights or talking about the future—might now feel heavy or tense.

Anxiety may show up as:

• Overthinking and constant worry

• Irritability or controlling behaviors

• Seeking constant reassurance

• Avoidance of situations or social withdrawal

Depression might look like:

• Loss of interest in shared activities

• Fatigue and low motivation

• Emotional shutdown or isolation

• Difficulty expressing emotions or making decisions

It’s easy to take these changes personally. But often, these shifts are symptoms—not signs of disinterest or rejection.

The Emotional Toll on the Supporting Partner

When someone you love is in pain, it’s natural to want to help. But over time, you may find yourself feeling:

• Helpless, because nothing you say or do seems to make a difference

• Frustrated, as responsibilities pile up or communication breaks down

• Guilty, for feeling resentful or needing space

• Lonely, because your emotional needs are no longer being met

You may begin to slip into a caregiver role, sacrificing your own well-being to protect your partner. But relationships thrive on balance—and losing yourself in the process isn’t sustainable.

How to Support Without Losing Yourself

Loving someone with anxiety or depression means learning to show up for them in ways that are genuinely supportive—not codependent, rescuing, or controlling. Here’s what that can look like:

1. Be Present, Not Perfect

You don’t need the right words or solutions. Often, what helps most is simply being present—offering a calm, nonjudgmental space for your partner to feel seen and accepted.

2. Encourage Professional Support

You’re not a therapist, and you shouldn’t try to be. Gently encourage your partner to seek help from a licensed professional. Offer to help them find resources, drive them to an appointment, or attend couples therapy together.

3. Don’t Minimize or Over-Identify

Avoid phrases like “Just try to be positive” or “I know exactly how you feel.” These responses, while well-meaning, can feel dismissive. Instead, try: “That sounds really hard. I’m here with you.”

4. Respect Their Process

Your partner’s healing might be slow, uneven, or different from what you expected. Resist the urge to push them to “get better”—and trust their timeline.

Boundaries: A Crucial Part of Support

One of the most powerful things you can do—for both your partner and yourself—is to set clear, compassionate boundaries. These don’t mean you care less; they mean you’re protecting your ability to stay grounded and emotionally available.

Examples of healthy boundaries:

• “I want to support you, but I also need time to recharge.”

• “I’m here to listen, but I can’t skip work every time you’re struggling. Let’s find another support plan together.”

• “It hurts when you shut me out. I’ll give you space, but I also want to talk when you’re ready.”

Boundaries prevent burnout and resentment—two of the biggest threats to relationships under strain.

When to Seek Couples Therapy

Supporting a partner with anxiety or depression can feel isolating, especially if emotional connection has faded. You may not know how to talk about your needs without feeling selfish or guilty. Or you may struggle to understand what your partner is experiencing in the first place.

In couples therapy, we create a safe, neutral space for both partners to:

• Explore how mental health is impacting the relationship

• Learn communication strategies that reduce conflict and increase understanding

• Build rituals of connection—even in tough seasons

• Clarify boundaries and shared responsibilities

• Reconnect emotionally, even when symptoms are present

Therapy isn’t just for crisis. It’s a resource for rebuilding empathy, teamwork, and long-term resilience.

Don’t Forget: You Deserve Support Too

It’s okay to need your own space, self-care, or therapy. In fact, it’s necessary. Your well-being is not a luxury—it’s the foundation for staying grounded in your relationship.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, depleted, or emotionally isolated, consider reaching out to a therapist for yourself. You matter, too.